by A.C. Guillermo
I just received my opinion survey regarding the probable takeover of the Grand American Road Racing Association by NASCAR.
I must admit I am a little confused about the whole thing. To be perfectly honest, I thought Grand-Am was already owned by NASCAR. Maybe your columnist A.C. is a little out of touch (despite being an ISC insider), because their offices are located in the NASCAR complex at Daytona, and NASCAR people are always present when I have visited Roger.
But getting back to the survey, I think it is wise to get input from the people who have supported Grand-Am. Further proof that NASCAR is genuinely interested in making the highly successful Rolex Series even more successful. Inquiring minds at the World Center of Racing want to know how the Grand-Am faithful will react to officially becoming the right turn entity of NASCARville. Your vote matters!
There were a few questions on the opinion survey that I am sure received a unanimous “YES” vote, such as:
“If NASCAR acquires Grand-Am, will you pledge obedience to the France family? (George Silbermann will administer the oath of loyalty).
“Will you attend all race rehearsals and agree to abide by the script, and not deviate in any way from your assigned finishing position?”
“Do you promise never to acknowledge the existence of Le Mans, Sebring and the Nicotine Patch?”
“If we gave you an interest-free loan, would you buy a Chase chassis?”
“Would you let Michael Waltrip drive your car in the Rolex 24?”
“Will your Crew Chief speak with a southern accent at selected televised races?”
“Will you agree to speak only to NASCAR-approved journalists?”
“Would you move your business checking account to SunTrust?”
Those were just a few of the questions on a survey sent to me via email. Obviously, the verbiage of this questionnaire was influenced by the official NASCAR Cup Series Bible.
What will happen if NASCAR does indeed buy Grand-Am? I get chills down my spine just imagining Darrell Waltrip yelling “Boogity Boogity Boogity” as a field of Talladega Prototypes (that will likely be the new name of DPs if the sale goes through) take the green flag! And imagine the excitement as fans hurl bottles and cans at Scott Pruett after beating Dale Earnhardt Jr. at the finish line at Darlington in the first Rolex Series oval race! The possibilities are endless!
I imagine the results of the survey will indicate landslide support for the NASCAR purchase. However, there is a rumor going around that Koni teams are demanding to be sold to the IRL. NASCAR’s new name for that series will be the Talladega International Touring Series, or TITS.
How could you be against the most successful sanctioning organization on the planet taking over the Grand-Am Series? They will most certainly spend billions promoting the series! Should NASCAR buy Grand-Am? I vote YES!
A.C.